- IBerry: What? No you can't MooCow. Go back to the page on Books and MOOCs! This page is for serious contributions on Climate Change and you don't know anything about that!
- MooCow: Oh yeah? And this website does?
- iB:We're no experts but we do our best to raise awareness.
- MC:Some awareness when you don't even have a mission statement!
- iB: We only launched last year so we're still feeling our way.
- MC: ... to extinction!
- iB: Steady on MooCow - we're not stupid!
- MC: Ha! Ha! All humans are stupid! One thing to mess about and harm every other living thing on the planet but to do it to yourselves as well and you can't even stop! If that isn't max stupidity, what is?
- iB: Ha yes, Einstein had a joke too, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Very funny!
- MC: HE WASN'T JOKING!
- iB: Look MooCow, many people recognize the Climate Emergency for what it is and are beginning to take action.
- MC: Beginning? You've had more than 30 years and hardly done a thing. Even your IPCC is having BIG PROBLEMS and says that the chances of doing something useful are close to zero. And that's only if all your promises are kept. You're all so good at keeping promises it'll soon be goodbye to the lot of you!
- iB: Whoa there! What about activists like Greta Thunberg and ....
- MC: She's not human!
- iB: WHAT?!! How can you say that when she .....
- MC: She's not stupid so how can she be human?
- iB: OK then since you're not human, how would you solve the climate crisis?
- MC:Easy! My 3-point plan for humans: 1) Outlaw stupidity 2) Use the Sun and Moon 3) Ruminate!
- iB: Eh? What??
- MC: 1) is obvious unless you're stupid - oh I see!
- iB: How is the sun a solution? What about the greenhouse effect and .....
- MC: Energy of course! There's enough up there for everything you'd ever want, here and now and for evermore but you're millions of years out of date, digging these stupid holes in the ground for fossils!
- iB: But solar energy is a big thing now and we're phasing out fossil fuels.
- MC: As fast as you keep digging it up! Why don't you cover near everything you can with with these solar panels - airports, roads, rivers, canals, the lot?
- iB: Ha! Ha! That's crazy. Can't see canals and airports all covered with panels!
- MC: OK just look here and here.
- iB: Um .... well, what about the moon? Colonizing the moon isn't practical at all!
- MC: Of course not! It's there to do tides. Simple, just let the sea roll in and your lifeguards can look after the generators as it rolls out. Plenty info here. Capture wave energy too if you like.
- iB: I'm not sure we'd like our beaches turned into power stations!
- MC: No way! OUR beaches are a great place for crabs, oysters, seaweed and what not. Put your generators somewhere sensible on the seashore. Live and let live.
- iB: We do support sustainable living but our advanced civilization demands international travel, economic growth and .....
- MC: Why?
- iB: Um ... well, no offence MooCow but as the most intelligent and creative animals around we humans need so many different things and food from all over the planet.
- MC: Rubbish! Must have your daily banana and exotic veg? Look at vertical farming. Worried about your stupid GNP? What about Gross National Happiness then? And why not settle down in one place like you used to and stop messing with everything else?
- iB: Eh? Human civilisation has progressed over hundreds of years and before that life was pretty miserable for most people.
- MC: No it wasn't and it hasn't progressed! Some of you survived happily for thousands of years, until got at by the rest of you. Look at Aborigines, Native Americans, Maoris, the slave trade ...
- iB: Stop! OK we did make some mistakes but that's all over now.
- MC: Glad to hear, so no more wars and blowing up your own kind. Your females and calves will be so happy!
- iB: Er ... well give us time but we're all for sustainable living. Just look at this project. Perhaps the Saudis have the right idea?
- MC: Futuristic eco-city my hoof! It's greenwashing - see here.
- iB: Then what do you think we should do?
- MC: Plan 3 - Ruminate! We cows have a saying , "Ruminate for 20 minutes every day ... unless you're too busy. Then you should ruminate for an hour."
- iB: How on earth does that help?
- MC: Maybe wake you up for the Earth's message! Try ruminating over this for a start and then this and this!
- iB: That's a lot to get our heads round and the first one's not very polite about capitalism or .....
- MC: Of course it's not! Capitalism, Conservatism, Nationalism, Communism, Sexism, Pessimism - I say get rid of all your 'isms, especially the ones where the planet and everything on it (cows too!) is a gift for humans! Get your heads around the big problems for a change and connect with the Earth! We cows have a saying, "Nothing is itself without everything else."
- iB: Well, there's the Mayor of Paris and the quarter-hour city, self-sufficient communities with everyone's needs normally met within a 15-minute walk. Less travel, less pollution, less stress, less .....
- MC: Right idea but a feeble start. Look, I know humans are far too badly adjusted to live in a field, relaxing all day, munching grass, ruminating sensibly and minding their own business but you could live off the land just as well as sheep or cows.
- iB:There are self-sufficient human communities that do just that but it's not everyone's cup of tea.
- MC: Then they'd better change what they drink quick or join the dogs and foxes and snatch what they can from those that have it!
- iB: What do you mean? Governments and the rule of law may collapse but self-sufficient communities can survive in a spirit of cooperation and pacifism.
- MC: Yeah, we cows are pacifists too, until provoked. Get real, your communities will need defending against roving bands of no good humans drinking anything but tea.
- iB: Hmm ... hadn't thought of that ..... Some say a paradigm shift is needed and we're making quite false assumptions about who we are and we keep making deeply flawed collective choices. Hmmm ..... Maybe our current lifestyle should go extinct..... Hmmm .....
- MC: Ruminating eh?
- iB: Um ... Well we have to get on with another serious Climate Change contribution now but thanks anyway for all these links. We might even publish some of them. Bye!
- MC: You'll publish them anyway cos I'm using my superpowers to lockdown this page!
- iB: What? !!! No you can't do that MooCow!! Noo! People may be shocked and ...
MOOC Cow @MooCow
@iBerry_ Nothing is itself without everything else!
0 secs ago via Twitter for cPad